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Thread: Soon my asshole with be as shiny clean as a Frenchmanís

  1. #1
    Proctor In Admiralty Jack Davenport's Avatar
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    Soon my asshole with be as shiny clean as a Frenchmanís

    Because I just ordered one of these.

    https://hellotushy.com/products/clas...saAmUkEALw_wcB

    #WipingIsForPeasants
    ď(ps: @Adam why is there a quote from me in your sig and when did I say that)Ē freeones_regina

  2. #2
    Pain heals, chicks dig scars, Freeones lasts forever Torre82min's Avatar
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    Re: Soon my asshole with be as shiny clean as a Frenchmanís

    Ya know... I'm not saying you are late to the party, but the rest of the world has used bidet stuff since, like, ever.
    Because it makes so much sense to use more water to clean your 'portal' and then use paper or whatever to 'dry' the 'water'.
    But whatevs.

  3. #3
    Proctor In Admiralty Jack Davenport's Avatar
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    Re: Soon my asshole with be as shiny clean as a Frenchmanís

    Quote Originally Posted by Torre82min View Post
    Ya know... I'm not saying you are late to the party, but the rest of the world has used bidet stuff since, like, ever.
    Because it makes so much sense to use more water to clean your 'portal' and then use paper or whatever to 'dry' the 'water'.
    But whatevs.
    And now we wait.
    ď(ps: @Adam why is there a quote from me in your sig and when did I say that)Ē freeones_regina

  4. #4
    In a bell tower, watching you through cross hairs. El Diablo Blanco's Avatar
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    Re: Soon my asshole with be as shiny clean as a Frenchmanís

    And all this time I've been using a wire brush and acetone.
    "Political correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that, it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end."

  5. #5
    Emperor Crazypants Dino Velvet's Avatar
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    Re: Soon my asshole with be as shiny clean as a Frenchmanís

    Charmin keeps my butthole fresher than a French ladyís armpits.

  6. #6
    FreeOnes Lifetime Member RJS13's Avatar
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    Re: Soon my asshole with be as shiny clean as a Frenchmanís

    I sure coulda used this yesterday morning when my asshole was on fire from shit spray diarrhea. I went through so much TP it would have paid for itself.
    RJS13
    *1st Place Winner In The 9 Millionth Post Contest

  7. #7
    19 Cents of Magical Cock FreeOnes_Adam's Avatar
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    Re: Soon my asshole with be as shiny clean as a Frenchmanís

    I use wipes. Something I picked up from one of my lady friends. Having a clean ass makes life just a little better.
    "Well fuck! I wasnít expecting this." -FreeOnes_Regina

  8. #8
    Emperor Crazypants Dino Velvet's Avatar
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    Re: Soon my asshole with be as shiny clean as a Frenchmanís

    Quote Originally Posted by RJS13 View Post
    I sure coulda used this yesterday morning when my asshole was on fire from shit spray diarrhea. I went through so much TP it would have paid for itself.
    Ahhhhhhhhh... the dreaded three second shit and a ten minute wipe. Worse if after all the clean-up you feel more tremors going off in your gut signaling another scalding blast of butt gravy. Squirt. Wipe. Repeat.

  9. #9
    FreeOnes Lifetime Member RJS13's Avatar
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    Re: Soon my asshole with be as shiny clean as a Frenchmanís

    Quote Originally Posted by Dino Velvet View Post
    Ahhhhhhhhh... the dreaded three second shit and a ten minute wipe. Worse if after all the clean-up you feel more tremors going off in your gut signaling another scalding blast of butt gravy. Squirt. Wipe. Repeat.
    Ya that's the worse. After using about 2 dozen rolls my asshole was so raw it felt like I was using 40 grit sandpaper. It hurt to even sit down after that. Now I know how fags feel
    RJS13
    *1st Place Winner In The 9 Millionth Post Contest

  10. #10
    Emperor Crazypants Dino Velvet's Avatar
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    Re: Soon my asshole with be as shiny clean as a Frenchmanís

    Quote Originally Posted by RJS13 View Post
    Ya that's the worse. After using about 2 dozen rolls my asshole was so raw it felt like I was using 40 grit sandpaper. It hurt to even sit down after that. Now I know how fags feel
    Imagine pushing that salmon back upstream and you'll know how what a fag endures.

  11. #11
    Proctor In Admiralty Jack Davenport's Avatar
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    Re: Soon my asshole with be as shiny clean as a Frenchmanís

    Quote Originally Posted by FreeOnes_Adam View Post
    I use wipes. Something I picked up from one of my lady friends. Having a clean ass makes life just a little better.
    You sound dreamy.
    ď(ps: @Adam why is there a quote from me in your sig and when did I say that)Ē freeones_regina

  12. #12
    Emperor Crazypants Dino Velvet's Avatar
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    Re: Soon my asshole with be as shiny clean as a Frenchmanís

    Way back when I was dating this one gal. We went up to her mom's house in the Hollywood Hills. Her mother did not approve of me. We were inside her house and I excused myself to use the bathroom. There was a bidet in there. When I came down and sat back down at the dinner table I looked over at my girlfriend's mom and said, "Nice fountain you got in there but the water tastes a little funny."

  13. #13
    FreeOnes Lifetime Member RJS13's Avatar
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    Re: Soon my asshole with be as shiny clean as a Frenchmanís

    Quote Originally Posted by Dino Velvet View Post
    Way back when I was dating this one gal. We went up to her mom's house in the Hollywood Hills. Her mother did not approve of me. We were inside her house and I excused myself to use the bathroom. There was a bidet in there. When I came down and sat back down at the dinner table I looked over at my girlfriend's mom and said, "Nice fountain you got in there but the water tastes a little funny."
    I shit myself over a gf Halloween party once. All I could do is waddle my ass to the restroom. Luckily when I made it to the John the the shit liquid hadn't passed through my khaki pants. I peeled off my shit filled boxer briefs and wrapped them in 10 layers of TP and hid them in the bottom of her garbage can lol. I cleaned up and went the rest of the night commando but whatever. Still had fun
    RJS13
    *1st Place Winner In The 9 Millionth Post Contest

  14. #14
    Pain heals, chicks dig scars, Freeones lasts forever Torre82min's Avatar
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    Re: Soon my asshole with be as shiny clean as a Frenchmanís

    Quote Originally Posted by Dino Velvet View Post
    Charmin keeps my butthole fresher than a French lady’s armpits.
    *reads*
    *does that thing where you read it and your eyes look up and to the right, whilst you think about shit*
    *laughs, cuz... topic about shit*
    *thinks why TF are people talking about french girls and french... buttholes.. and.. whatever, done thinking*
    HEY GOOD MORNING GUYS!
    .... mmm, french girls tho.

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