View Full Version : Sayings Gone Wrong!

2005-02-25, 16:27
Ok thought it would be fun to list all the lines you hear over the years and when you actually rewind it and play, it makes no sense at all. Eg:

" It's always in the last place you look"

- No shit, because when you find something you stop looking for it!!

I'm sure there are many more, so get listening to your mums and post! :D

2005-02-25, 16:39
"I'll tell ya this for free"

Put your money anyway lads :D

2005-02-25, 16:40
lol u got that from Peter Kay!

2005-02-25, 16:48
lol u got that from Peter Kay!
yeah but i heard it before anyways thats why its funny coz its real

2005-02-25, 16:49
Classic cricket commentary

"Tha bowlers Holden, tha batsman's Willie"


2005-02-25, 16:51
Murry Walker:

2005-02-25, 16:52
sorry re-try, Murry Walker:
"Its raining and the track's getting wet"
Classic :D

2005-02-25, 17:24
"I'm the nicest guy you'll ever meet, just ask me."

2005-02-25, 23:13
if you make out of this alive i'll kill you

2005-02-25, 23:37
if you fall and break your neck, I'll neck your backside

2005-02-26, 00:26
Makes sense, just really bad English:
Long time no see.

2005-02-26, 13:04
"How long will it take?"...oh, just a few seconds.....Wait a minute please!

2005-02-26, 14:18
My grandmother used to say 'God is listening' , if she thought I was fibbing about something.
Now I'm thinking.. he must have had very good hearing, or some sort of bugging device.

2005-02-26, 17:12
I heard that.

2005-02-26, 17:13
"See what I'm saying?"

Thin Dick Rick
2005-02-26, 20:25
i always tell the truth, even when i lie

2005-02-27, 10:37
I can't tell a lie !

2005-03-02, 22:41
Shhhhh, what do you smell?

2005-03-02, 23:37
"give me a second"

it never takes a second when they say this, so why do they?

2005-03-12, 05:30
Im dry as a dead dogs donger!!! Aussie slang for 'Im thirsty'......

2005-03-12, 05:59
Kevin Keegan is the king of the sayings gone wrong. For those of you who don't know him, he's an ex England footballer turned manger.

Here are some of his classics.

'The ref was vertically 15 yards away.'

'Goalkeepers aren't born today until they're in their late twenties or thirties.'

'England can end the millenium as it started - as the greatest football nation in the world.'

'Despite his white boots, he has real pace...'

'He can't speak Turkey, but you can tell he's delighted.'

'There'll be no siestas in Madrid tonight.'

'He's using his strength. And that is his strength, his strength.'

'Gary always weighed up his options, especially when he had no choice.'

'I'm not disappointed - just disappointed.'

'The tide is very much in our court now.'

'Chile have three options - they could win or they could lose.'

'That would have been a goal if it wasn't saved.'

'I came to Nantes two years ago and it's much the same today, except that it's totally different.'

'A tremendous strike which hit the defender full on the arm - and it nearly came off.'

'The good news for Nigeria is that they're two-nil down very early in the game'.'

'That decision, for me, was almost certainly definitely wrong.'

'I know what is around the corner - I just don't know where the corner is. But the onus is on us to perform and we must control the bandwagon.'

'Hungary is very similar to Bulgaria. I know they're different countries...'

'In some ways, cramp is worse than having a broken leg.'

'The 33 or 34-year-olds will be 36 or 37 by the time the next World Cup comes around, if they're not careful.'

2005-03-12, 06:32
Funny shit here!

2005-03-17, 21:50
at work one day during NFL season . had a game on the radio and the announcer giving the half time scores of other games

"it's the Packers on top of the Rams 7-0"

2005-03-17, 22:57
Don't know if anyone's ever heard any of these:

> "Tough titty," said the kitty when the milk ran dry...

> "He's busier than a seven-peckered sheep herder!"

> "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush."

> "Ass backwards." or "Back-asswards"

> "Curiosity killed the cat."

> "Don't go away mad, just go away."

> "Don't get mad, get even."

> "I got it straight from the horse's mouth!"

> "Don't look a gift horse in the mouth."

> "Beat a dead horse."

> "Cat got your tongue?"

> "Take the bull by the horns."

> "Fuck with bull and you'll get the horns."

> "When the big dogs walk, the little dogs step aside."

There are hundreds more, but this list is fairly representative of some of the sayings, colloquialisms, and idioms I used to hear as I was growing up. And, obviously, if you stop and think about 'em, these sayings WILL make some sort of warped sense. :thumbsup:

2005-03-18, 00:39
"Weebles wobble, but they don't fall down" - What the heck is a weeble and where can I get one?

2005-03-18, 10:44
LOL! They were a kid's toy popular back in the 1970s (hell, maybe even still today, but I am not in-tune with the toy market lol). I had a few. They're like little egg-people, and they're weighted at the base and ALWAYS pop up vertically on a flat surface. lol I had a couple as a kid.

Here's a Weeble: http://pages.tias.com/8514/PictPage/1922251676.html

Back to topic: My mom said some funny stuff when she was alive. We called them "mom-isms." Here's an example, "Wow, that sun sure is bright!" Or, "That sun is really hot today!" lol They make sense in the situation (hot/bright summer day), but if you think about them, of COURSE the sun is hot and bright! lol

"Weebles wobble, but they don't fall down" - What the heck is a weeble and where can I get one?

2005-12-15, 17:24
''What seems to be the officer, problem?'' -South Park

''I think I brained my damage!'' -aod

2005-12-15, 17:26
I swear To drunk I'm not god

2005-12-15, 17:52
You'll be smiling on the other side of your face in a minute
Wipe that smile off your face

2005-12-16, 09:12
70% of football is half mental